Not too long ago,I directed two films/exercise. The realities of film making not only made me nervous but there was a strange anxiety within me long after the shoot got over....I realized if the idea/central premise is unclear within you, you will fail even if you have the best cameraman or the best sound guy or actors. Also, 'idea' to me means something that you are passionate about. Because as I went around trying to search for the right face and spirit to perform my role....search the exact color of paint I wanted as a prop...as I did the shot breakdown... I felt that the story was slipping past me...had taken a different form and grammar altogether.... sometimes dead in the night I asked myself why am I making the film...
It at such moment when I go back to the quite lake in my institute and ask myself why at the first place I wanted to make this film....I go back to the 'innocent' feeling I began with...I recharge myself....
Also, since film making is an entirely new discipline for me...I am learning a methodology which suits my temperament rather than fitting myself to a rather aggressive and stressful way to make films....
I am comfortable working with non actors. I have no exposure to theatre nor have I read too many plays. And luck never looks at me when I go for theater actors to perform my role. I feel that they ' act' ...or rather 'over act'. They imitate. And I dislike that. I really am looking forward to meeting more actors who can act convincingly enough.
But I love the fact that although, I took non actors for both my films, they were really good. They were not camera conscious. For a moment I felt that they were real. They understood what I wanted to convey. I pat myself to time and again stick to my intuition about their ability to act.
I also feel that I am not a person who craves for drama in my film. People say I fear letting go ...but no! I want my film to have a rhythm I am comfortable with....this has put me in trouble sometimes because in the quest for making a five minute film ...I end up making a 8 min film...I record sounds which last for 13minutes! I know this is a film school indulgence. The reality in the industry is different ... but what drives me is that I have to 'recreate' the idea of the film I had in my head when I set out to make the film...
Also, filmmaking is about people. I swear. The biggest let down would be when I start abusing someone on location because we are running late or fight limited resources...it will be hard to forgive myself if I lose my temper. Since all my attempts are excercises/ projects/ non commercial ventures, I believe that the entire unit has come there because of you ..for the person you are. They have nothing to do with the story or the film....
Until another film....
It at such moment when I go back to the quite lake in my institute and ask myself why at the first place I wanted to make this film....I go back to the 'innocent' feeling I began with...I recharge myself....
Also, since film making is an entirely new discipline for me...I am learning a methodology which suits my temperament rather than fitting myself to a rather aggressive and stressful way to make films....
I am comfortable working with non actors. I have no exposure to theatre nor have I read too many plays. And luck never looks at me when I go for theater actors to perform my role. I feel that they ' act' ...or rather 'over act'. They imitate. And I dislike that. I really am looking forward to meeting more actors who can act convincingly enough.
But I love the fact that although, I took non actors for both my films, they were really good. They were not camera conscious. For a moment I felt that they were real. They understood what I wanted to convey. I pat myself to time and again stick to my intuition about their ability to act.
I also feel that I am not a person who craves for drama in my film. People say I fear letting go ...but no! I want my film to have a rhythm I am comfortable with....this has put me in trouble sometimes because in the quest for making a five minute film ...I end up making a 8 min film...I record sounds which last for 13minutes! I know this is a film school indulgence. The reality in the industry is different ... but what drives me is that I have to 'recreate' the idea of the film I had in my head when I set out to make the film...
Also, filmmaking is about people. I swear. The biggest let down would be when I start abusing someone on location because we are running late or fight limited resources...it will be hard to forgive myself if I lose my temper. Since all my attempts are excercises/ projects/ non commercial ventures, I believe that the entire unit has come there because of you ..for the person you are. They have nothing to do with the story or the film....
Until another film....
1 comments:
VERY TRUE. some also come just for the money!!
but yeah u know what i do when i find myself lost or bogged down sometimes? i start thinking about the first film that i'm gonna make. it'll be set in my village with the story that my dad once told me. i'll be amongst my people with them as actors speaking their own language in their own homes. just a village with it's people amongs the hills. n the world would get to see them! it'll be great! i get energised that way.
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